Foolishness and discipline...

Discipline, behavior enforcement?

Let's review a bit...  First, what is the core problem with children?  In a word, foolishness is the problem (see Proverbs 10:1; 15:20-21; 17:21; 22:15 and Jer. 4:22), which just so happens to be the same core problem in all of us!  And what is foolishness?  One way of defining it is the belief that outward comforts and things will satisfy the soul, and that we are convinced we have the power to gain that satisfaction independently of God.  Or more simply, foolishness is the belief that I can be happy if I get what I want, my own way.  Second, what is the purpose of discipline? Discipline is the application of an unpleasant consequence which delivers a prompt reminder that the above strongly-held foolish world-view is not only wrong but if consistently pursued will lead to heartache. 

Proverbs 22: 6 speaks of "training" a child in the way he should go.  Discipline is a central part of that training.  The word "train" in the Hebrew has the sense of - to narrow; or figuratively, to initiate, inaugurate.   As parents, one of the main things we are trying to do is narrow the field of choices that our children will want to make.  In so doing, parents are initiating them into a direction or path for living life that is not only right and works best in this world, but a path that will be of their children's own free choosing; parents can't make their children go the right way.  Another way of putting it is that through discipline, teaching, and relationship parents are working to instill or create a desire in their children for a moral direction that is right and good, one that cuts across the natural foolishness bound up in the heart.  In light of this understanding, we can then affirm that the goal of any specific discipline is not to change a child's behavior directly, but rather to give them pause, an immediate reminder that holding onto their wrong belief and goal (the fruit of which is selfish or irresponsible behavior) doesn't lead to happiness but rather to unhappiness.

Why the emphasis on foolishness and the purpose of discipline?  The understanding of these two key elements is at the center of the "control panel" that parents need to look at in order to make sense of their child's wrong behavior and to get an idea of what direction to take as an appropriate parental response.  When confronted with misbehavior in children, the parent's job is to diagnose, which entails thinking through and understanding what's really going on, and to administer an effective prescription that addresses the core problem of foolishness.